Navigating loss and coming out the other side isn’t an easy journey. Here are 5 self-care Ayurvedic tips to help release…
Grief and bereavement are natural in the course of life; whether it is because of a death, chronic illness, losing a job, divorce, moving, or any other loss…
Currently, the world is grappling with a tough pandemic and our collective grief will take a while to heal. The bereavement of loved ones dying may be harder because we can’t comfort them in person, have proper funeral rituals and physical social support systems. People are also grieving the loss of their way of life, loss of livelihood, illness, or caretaking of the sick. The stages of grief have been documented but grief is not a linear process and affects everyone differently. It is not considered an illness per se but prolonged grief can trigger depression, anxiety, trauma, and impact physical health and immunity.
The Ayurvedic View of Grief
Ayurveda mentions grief or (Shoka) in the context of several mental, physical and psychosomatic disorders. According to the root text Ashtanga Hridayam, the unemployed, diseased, or those afflicted by grief should be helped to the utmost extent.
Here are some principles of grief management.
Grief mainly vitiates Vata Dosha (energy principle of air and ether) but any Dosha imbalance needs addressing.
Grief causes an imbalance in Gunas (qualities of the mind); it could lead to Tamas (lethargy) or aggravate Rajas (restlessness) and healing is achieved through enhancing the natural, clear quality of the mind, Sattva.
Ayurveda treats mental health in a holistic way.
In the management of mental health issues, it employs three treatments; spiritual, rational (diet, lifestyle, formulations, and cleansing therapies), and Ayurvedic psychotherapy (Sattvavajaya Chikitsa).
Grief impacts Agni (digestive and metabolic fire); another root text, Charaka Samhita mentions that even wholesome food in proper quantity may not be digested well when we are grieving.
Unresolved grief is psychological Ama (toxins) that can be the cause of other diseases.
Symptoms of grief include exhaustion, restlessness, anxiety, sleep issues, appetite loss or comfort eating, and aches and pains. It can also be a cause of ailments like shosha (emaciation), shoka atisara (diarrhoea), vatika prameha (a type of diabetes mellitus), and shokaja unmada (a psychiatric condition similar to PTSD).
The lungs, cardiovascular system, and throat chakra (impacting pituitary and thyroid gland) are particularly vulnerable.
Grief can deplete Ojas (the vital life force) and reduce immunity.
Here are a few simplified cases to illustrate grief management,
Three example Cases:
Maria José, an elderly lady with osteoarthritis saught Ayurveda management of tinnitus that started recently. I trace it to the loss of her son-in-law and attended to grief and a Vata imbalance in a holistic manner with dietary recommendations and lifestyle interventions, therapies, and some herbal formulations, factoring in her complete history.
Antonio is a middle-aged man with prodromal symptoms of gout. Besides irregular diet and lifestyle, an intake reveals he has a Rajas (quality of change, activity, and turbulence) imbalance and is grieving a major downturn at work. His case management involves pacification by making adjustments to his diet for a powerful effect to balance his rajas guna. Recommendations to avoid eating on the go and to resist gobbling his food down—instead to sit down for meals, eat slowly, and take several moments to bless and/or feel gratitude before eating, followed by cleansing through herbal teas, herbal formulations.
Irené is an emaciated teenager who slipped into grieving and anxiety during the pandemic. She has no mental health diagnosis. She has a Vata imbalance and solutions are provided using Graha Chikitsa (psychiatry) and a sister science, Vedic astrology which also helps in identifying her Dharma (life purpose) Herbal formulations and Brahmana (nourishing) therapies to improve the nutrition of the body were suggested.
5 Tips for Self-care-While Grieving
They say the only way to go through grief is to go through it…but how can you attend to yourself at this difficult time?
1. Take Time And Be Gentle With Yourself:
- Mourning rituals (through your belief system) help process grief and are highly encouraged. The Ayurvedic view is that the journey of the soul continues; have faith in whatever resonates with you.
- Do continue with Dinacharya (daily regime) practices such as yoga, body brushing & massage etc. to retain a soothing structure.
- Have nourishing food and spices like ginger, cumin, or coriander. You may reach for comfort food and caffeine but that could clog channels (Srotas). Try golden milk and herbal teas instead.
Herbal Tea Recipe: Add five holy basil leaves ( you can use Genovese or Sweet Basil), 1/4th tsp cardamom, cinnamon, and dry ginger to a cup of hot boiling water. Let it boil for 10 min. Strain, squeeze in lemon or add honey (when the tea is lukewarm), jaggery( or use dark brown sugar) or date syrup/sugar, or crystal sugar for a comforting, energising herbal tea.
- Journaling, writing poetry, gardening, walking and creative ventures can help with honouring and expressing grief.
- Heal the senses with chanting, colour therapy, and aromatherapy; gemstones are also used to alleviate chronic grief.
- Stay connected with your community, friends or join a support group.
2. Seek Nourishment and Grounding to Balance Vata
- Have wholesome, warm food with sweet, sour and salty tastes and hydrate sufficiently.
- Eat at regular meal times, favour soups and stews and keep meals simple to avoid overwhelm.
- Be regular with your sleep cycle.
- Don’t suppress natural urges (vegadharana) like tears which can vitiate Vata and reduce Agni (digestive power)
- Follow a routine and try nature walks.
3. Pamper yourself with a daily self-massage
- Abhyanga or Snehana (another word for oleation -applying oil or love) is a self-massage that is calming, nurturing, and balances Vata. You could use sesame or herbal oils like Ksheerbala or Dhanwantaram. Massage your scalp with Brahmi or Amalaki oil.
- Massage your feet before sleeping (don socks to prevent slipping).
- Try a daily Nasya; the application of a couple of drops of oil in the nostrils (sesame, ghee, or Anu Taila Oil-a combination of many herbs with multifarious benefits).
- Cleansing and therapies like Panchakarma help heal unresolved grief. Abhyanga, Shirodhara, Shiroabhyanga (head massage with warm oil), Marma, and Nasya are especially helpful; also consider a Hridaya Basti (a heart Basti).
4. Replenish with Rasayana herbs and practices
- Rejuvenating herbs and formulations. Do consult an Ayurvedic practitioner before trying herbs and by therapies.
- Follow uplifting lifestyle practices like good company, service, and meditation. This is similar to psychoneuroimmunology (PNI) in modern medicine or the concept of how the mind impacts health and immunity.
5. Enhance Sattva
- Have freshly cooked, easy to digest, light, unctuous food
- Slow down and reduce stress
- Do seek Ayurvedic or grief counselling if required.
- Read inspirational books or spiritual texts.
- Include Sadvrutta practices like truth, self-control, following a routine, and having fresh food raises Sattva.
- Meditation, restorative yoga, and breathwork are ideal for healing and increasing emotional resilience.
- And remember don’t hesitate to seek professional help if needed.
Footnotes:
Kessler, the co-author of some of Ross’s work on the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance), now talks about a sixth stage. While many look for closure after a loss, he asserts that finding meaning can transform grief into a peaceful, hopeful experience.
To quote Gurudev Shankar about the loss of a loved one, “Time will take care of it. If someone you love crosses over, grief overtakes you. But see it from a broader angle; we all have to go one day. Someone has taken an earlier flight and we have to take a later flight. When you see the impermanence of everything, you will gain the strength to overcome grief.”





